I am not a fan of feeling helpless. I love my baby so much and all he wants is for me to pick him up...and I can't do it. He is looking up at me and sucking on his pacifier, upside down. Cutest thing ever! Alex has been doing a great job helping out with him, but his still wants and needs his mama.
I am also not a fan of surgery. But having four kids definitely took it's toll on my body. At least now my intestines are back where they are supposed to be and the silver dollar- sized hole in my abdominal wall has been sealed up, hopefully for good.
One thing I AM a fan of...or person, I should say, is Tim McGraw. My mom won tickets and I was supposed to go tonight. Unfortunately, it's not going to happen. As much my mind is saying "Yes," my body (and my wise husband), are saying, "No." I mean, shoot, my mom even offered to get me a wheelchair. But I wouldn't enjoy myself the way that "normal" me would. I can't scream and yell...just hurts too much!
My mom was able to sell my tickets to a mom and daughter who were incredibly excited to go...made me feel a little better since it wasn't me. Tonight I will settle for getting my dose of Tim by watching "Country Strong"...sad to admit that I haven't even seen it yet!
I am grateful that my situation is temporary, and one that my body will recover from. There are others who are not so fortunate. Thanks for listening to my vent. I know that part of my recovery is my attitude, and I am vowing to be positive and know that each day will get a little better.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Waking Up is Hard to Do
Well, apparently, I spoke to0 soon. So much for that sleeping through the night business. It lasted for three, glorious nights...and last night, the streak ended. I am partly to blame, because I stayed up late reading. It's been a long time since I have read an actual novel, but I started one when Ella was in the hospital and it has kept my interest. I think it was about 12:30 a.m. when I finally put it down.
I was awakened by Prince Charming at approximately 4:15 a.m. Thought maybe if I just gave him the pacifier, that would be the end of it...but, no! Fixed him a 4 oz. bottle, thinking that might just be enough to lull him back to sleep, and laid him back down. Listened to him cry and fuss for awhile and finally just got him up again. I fixed him another 2 oz. and rocked him. Part of me was extremely frustrated that I was not nestled all snug in my bed. But another thought came into my mind. I remembered back when Ella was around a year old, another mom lost her little boy who was the same age. He had been one who never wanted to sleep at night, and when he died, she looked back at that situation and realized that it was his way of spending as much time with her as possible before he left her presence on earth. When I looked at it from that perspective, I was grateful to have him in my arms, tired as I was.
At 5:30 a.m, I laid him down again. I climbed back under my covers, contemplating whether or not I should even go back to sleep since I'd have to be up getting the other two princes and princess ready for school soon enough. Took me awhile, but I dozed off again.
Fast forward to about two hours later. Somewhere from my subconscious mind, I heard Cinderella calling me from the bathroom, needing to be wiped. Just what every Queen wants to be awakened by, right? It was so difficult to drag my royal behind out of bed, let me tell you...but I did what I had to do. Got two out of three children to school on time. I'll take what I can get.
I tell myself that this to shall pass...until then, I'm getting some coffee from the royal kitchen.
I was awakened by Prince Charming at approximately 4:15 a.m. Thought maybe if I just gave him the pacifier, that would be the end of it...but, no! Fixed him a 4 oz. bottle, thinking that might just be enough to lull him back to sleep, and laid him back down. Listened to him cry and fuss for awhile and finally just got him up again. I fixed him another 2 oz. and rocked him. Part of me was extremely frustrated that I was not nestled all snug in my bed. But another thought came into my mind. I remembered back when Ella was around a year old, another mom lost her little boy who was the same age. He had been one who never wanted to sleep at night, and when he died, she looked back at that situation and realized that it was his way of spending as much time with her as possible before he left her presence on earth. When I looked at it from that perspective, I was grateful to have him in my arms, tired as I was.
At 5:30 a.m, I laid him down again. I climbed back under my covers, contemplating whether or not I should even go back to sleep since I'd have to be up getting the other two princes and princess ready for school soon enough. Took me awhile, but I dozed off again.
Fast forward to about two hours later. Somewhere from my subconscious mind, I heard Cinderella calling me from the bathroom, needing to be wiped. Just what every Queen wants to be awakened by, right? It was so difficult to drag my royal behind out of bed, let me tell you...but I did what I had to do. Got two out of three children to school on time. I'll take what I can get.
I tell myself that this to shall pass...until then, I'm getting some coffee from the royal kitchen.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Beginning is Always the Hardest Part
I have always felt, as a writer, that beginning is the most difficult thing to do. Sometimes, you stare at the page (or the screen if that's the case), just waiting for the words to start flowing. So you wait, and wait, and wait...you walk away, take a break, get a snack...until finally, it comes. After that, it's usually a piece of cake, the words come freely...like butter.
That's how it was with this blog. I started it awhile ago....designed the page, etc., but didn't know what I could write that would be of value to anyone. And then, I came to the realization, that it is really for me. If I happen to say something witty, or share some bit of information that is useful in some way...terrific! But when it comes right down to it, I am blogging to get some focus in my own life.
Having my fourth child really threw me for a loop. I fully intended to go back to teaching full time, Lord knows we need the money. But you know what? It wasn't meant to be. I was meant to have another precious little person in our life, one who is so full of smiles and brings us such joy that I am tearing up at the mere thought of him.
There is so much to be done...I have so much to learn as I try to run a household of six. I need to be more organized, be on a schedule, learn how to save more and spend less, etc., etc. So as I embark on this journey of figuring all of this fun stuff out, I invite you to follow me...I'll share some inspiration, some tips, some recipes. Maybe we can figure it out together.
I will remind myself along the way what my second "prince" told his fellow classmates..."My mom is a pop star!" I thought is was hilarious at the time, but if that is how I am perceived, then I sure have a lot to live up to! And so it begins...
That's how it was with this blog. I started it awhile ago....designed the page, etc., but didn't know what I could write that would be of value to anyone. And then, I came to the realization, that it is really for me. If I happen to say something witty, or share some bit of information that is useful in some way...terrific! But when it comes right down to it, I am blogging to get some focus in my own life.
Having my fourth child really threw me for a loop. I fully intended to go back to teaching full time, Lord knows we need the money. But you know what? It wasn't meant to be. I was meant to have another precious little person in our life, one who is so full of smiles and brings us such joy that I am tearing up at the mere thought of him.
There is so much to be done...I have so much to learn as I try to run a household of six. I need to be more organized, be on a schedule, learn how to save more and spend less, etc., etc. So as I embark on this journey of figuring all of this fun stuff out, I invite you to follow me...I'll share some inspiration, some tips, some recipes. Maybe we can figure it out together.
I will remind myself along the way what my second "prince" told his fellow classmates..."My mom is a pop star!" I thought is was hilarious at the time, but if that is how I am perceived, then I sure have a lot to live up to! And so it begins...
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